I have not been very grateful for the last two weeks. I have been having tests and this morning the last lot of results came through and I can now confirm that I do not have breast cancer. I feel very grateful today.
I had my regular mammogram two weeks ago. I was all dressed ready to go home when the girls came back in and told me I needed more films done for my mammogram. The results of the mammogram showed I had an area of calcification. I have areas of calcification that have been investigated in the past but this was new calcification and the doctor advised me to have some further investigations done. The following Tuesday I had multiple small biopsies done under guided X-ray. The results came back from these biopsies on the Friday and I was informed that the biopsies had some nasty cells in them and I needed further surgery. So the following Tuesday I had further biopsies done under general anaethetic. I got the results of this today and I have been given the all clear. Thank goodness.
I thought I had had enough for the last few months. Obviously the universe had other ideas.
The events of the last few weeks have really tested my ability to stay grateful. I have not been grateful. I have felt bruised and sore. I have not felt like exercising. I have not been meditating. I have not eaten properly. I have been happy to have a glass or two or three of wine a bit more often than normal. I haven’t been sleeping well. I generally have been feeling pretty ordinary.
I find it interesting that even though the tests I have had in the last few weeks haven’t been as hard as the few weeks after my accident it has definitely effected how positive I have felt. It has just been another layer that has slowed my recovery down. I know all the things that will help to make me feel better but I have chosen not to do them in the last two weeks.
Today however is a new day. I have meditated today. I will walk in the morning. I will start eating well again. I will go to bed early. I will practice gratitude. I will be kind to myself and not beat myself up about all the things I haven’t done in the last two weeks.
I have regular mammograms and I have done every year since I was 39. This year I was very reluctant to go and have my regular mammogram because I had had enough of doctors and hospitals. I am very glad I did go. I had these nasty cells picked up before they developed into cancer.
If you have put off your mammogram please organize it today. The earlier breast changes are picked up the better your chances are for a good result.