An ungrateful post – by a girl who loves life and is grateful to be alive. 

Posted on October 11, 2015 by admin

 On the 7th June this year I was riding my bike, crashed into a barrier and nearly died. The injuries I sustained were extensive and if you are unaware of what they were you can read about them here – The Day of the Accident. 

Prior to the accident  as part of my normal daily routine I journaled. Included in the information that I wrote about was a daily list of five things I am grateful about. One of the injuries I sustained in the accident was a broken left arm. I write with my left hand so it became impossible for me to physically write in my journal and thus write down what I was grateful about. I already had this blog so I decided to use this platform to record what I am grateful about each day. This has been very therapeutic as I have stayed positive and it has been useful to communicate my progress with all my friends. It has not just been a one way form of communication. I have had constant messages of support and encouragement each day. 

I am an advocate of the benefits of practicing gratefulness  (you can read about some of those benefits here – Gratitude ) but  I also believe in balance. It would be lying if I said I was grateful all the time. I haven’t been. Today I thought I would record some of the things I am not grateful about. I don’t want my friends to feel sorry for me nor do I want sympathy. I just think it is unrealistic to give the impression that I am grateful all the time. I would like to warn anyone reading this that the following list contains language that is unladylike. 

I can’t do anything about the following issues. The words I use a lot are ” it just is”. I am not the same person as the person I was before the accident. But “it just is”. 

WHAT I AM NOT GRATEFUL ABOUT. 

Falling off my bike was fucked and it hurt……a lot.

It is crap not being able to go for a ride because I am broken and so is my bike.

I can’t do up my own bra it hurts too much.

If I wear tight jeans for too long the scar on my tummy aches.

I can’t lift my arm because it has been immobile for four months.

I have had constant pain for 4 months – it is not bad pain but it exists. 

I have spent the last four months healing and as a result  I feel like an observer of life rather than someone who is fully engaged in my life.

I can’t write anything without it hurting. 

I had to defer my study which sucks because I was going to be finished by the end of the year.

I stopped my singing lessons because I couldn’t take deep breaths.

I haven’t been able to wear my wedding ring on the right hand since my arm was operated on because my fingers are still too swollen.

I can’t do weights or swim because I have a risk of a rotator cuff injury to my shoulder as it has been so immobile for so long.

I get tired after walking a few kilometers. 

I am sleeping on the opposite side of the bed because I have trouble getting in and out the normal side.

I can’t lie on my tummy it hurts too much.

I hate that I have caused so much distress to my family and friends.

I read a lot that something good will come out of all this – that is fucked. Could someone please tell me now what that is because I am sick of waiting. 

I am not a natural athlete so any time I spend off the bike I know I am losing touch with my friends skills and speed. I know that everyone has times off the bike but I hate the fact that I may never ride at the same level again. 

I am getting better and I will be totally better sometime. It is just a matter of time. So for the moment “it just is” and I am ok with that.   

  
    

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Week Sixteen Friday’s Grateful List 

Posted on October 9, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful for the pretty colour my nails are painted. I normally have my nails painted a dark colour such as black. Yesterday I chose pink bikini – I love looking down at such a happy colour.

  
 Today I am grateful that this morning I put on my lipstick and did my teeth using my left hand. I got such a shock because I had started doing these things before I realized I was using my left hand. It was very uncomfortable but I started doing them automatically which is exciting.

  
Today I am grateful I got home safely from my morning appointment. I still get very tired but don’t realize how tired I am until I do something dumb. I was going to visit a friend in hospital this afternoon but decided I should go home after my phone incident. I thought I had lost my phone – I couldn’t find it anywhere so retraced my steps of the morning. The lovely shopkeeper offered to ring it in case I had put it down somewhere. Guess what – it was in my handbag. I was very embarrassed but it reminded me  instead of pushing myself to do normal things I needed to get home and have a rest. 

  
Today I am grateful that I slept so soundly last night. I went to see my beautiful friend Sharon Callaghan who is a Bowen Therapist. I had my first Bowen since the accident. I did not expect any difference in how I felt but I was very surprised to manage a very good nights sleep.

  
Today I am very grateful that I had an appointment with my psychologist. I am a very interested in staying healthy physically and mentally and thought it was time to have a professional check in on my mental health. I am grateful I am doing ok but I need to go back to see him again in a few weeks just to make sure. 

  

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Week Fifteen Sunday’s Grateful List 

Posted on October 4, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful that I have been too busy in the last few days to write a grateful list. 

  
Today I am grateful to have spent a wonderful weekend in Melbourne with David. It has always been a dream of David’s to go to the AFL Grandfinal. We have learnt that opportunities are to be seized and dreams acted upon as life may be cut short before you have a chance to realize dreams. I am grateful I was able to share this dream with David. 

  

  

   
 

 
Today I am grateful for the famous people we spied in Melbourne. We walked past Sandy Roberts at the end of the AFL. His wife was the most stylishly dressed woman I saw all day. I walked past Carl Stefonovich in the foyer of the Crown in daggy shorts and thongs. Most exciting  of all I almost bumped into Julie Bishop and Kerry Stokes coming out of the lift in our hotel(I wasn’t quick enough to ask for a photograph).  
Today I am grateful that we watched the Australia vs England World Cup game this morning. I am grateful that it was such an exciting game of rugby and I am grateful that the Aussies won. I gave up watching the Aussies play rugby when it was more exciting watching Nick play school boy rugby than it was watching our national team. I think I will have to upgrade our FOXTEL subscription so we can watch the remaining World Cup games. 

  
Today I am grateful to be going home to my special family.  

  

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Week Fifteen Tuesday’s Grateful List 

Posted on September 29, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful that we are having conversations. 

There seems to be so much more discussion about domestic violence. I do not know what the solution to the tragic number of women who are killed by men or why there is so much domestic violence in our communities. We are however starting to talk about it and the expectation is growing  that our community wants zero tolerance to domestic violence. I am grateful we are talking about how to reduce domestic violence. 

  

There seems to be so much more discussion about equality for women. Again  I do not know which is the best way to address this issue. I want equal pay for equal work. I want women to be educated as highly as men. I want women and men to have exactly the same access to food, health care, housing, legal representation and wealth. I am grateful that we are having conversations about this and that organizations such as  Lean In and The Destroy The Joint have been set up. I am grateful that there seems to be much debate about how to improve equality for women.

   

 There seems to be much more discussion about healthy eating. People can choose to be Paleo, Sugar Free, Gluten free or just follow a well balanced diet. I do not know what is responsible for the growing obesity in our communities. I am however grateful that there are so many groups challenging the way we eat and hopefully if the conversation continues more research will be done and we will be able to make informed choices about the healthiest way to eat. 

  

There seems to be greater debate about the environment. I have heard arguments for and against global warming. Irrespective of the impact the human race has on the planet there does seem to be a desire to find cleaner energy, use energy that is renewable and work towards ways that reduce our impact on the planet. I am grateful that there is debate about how we can care for our planet in a better way. 

  

There seems to be more conversations about health and illness. Treatment for illness and management of health seems to include many more facets now. Medical treatment is important. Diet and exercise are important. Mental health is important. There is much discussion about mind, body and spirit. Modalities such as acupuncture, energy medicine, hypnosis, and all sorts of other forms of treatment are being used and discussed. I am grateful that there is so much choice and I hope that eventually the mind, body and spirit will all be addressed equally. 

  

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Week Fifteen Tuesday’s Grateful List 

Posted on September 29, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful that we are having conversations. 

There seems to be so much more discussion about domestic violence. I do not know what the solution to the tragic number of women who are killed by men or why there is so much domestic violence in our communities. We are however starting to talk about it and the expectation is growing  that our community wants zero tolerance to domestic violence. I am grateful we are talking about how to reduce domestic violence. 

  

There seems to be so much more discussion about equality for women. Again  I do not know which is the best way to address this issue. I want equal pay for equal work. I want women to be educated as highly as men. I want women and men to have exactly the same access to food, health care, housing, legal representation and wealth. I am grateful that we are having conversations about this and that organizations such as  Lean In and The Destroy The Joint have been set up. I am grateful that there seems to be much debate about how to improve equality for women.

   

 There seems to be much more discussion about healthy eating. People can choose to be Paleo, Sugar Free, Gluten free or just follow a well balanced diet. I do not know what is responsible for the growing obesity in our communities. I am however grateful that there are so many groups challenging the way we eat and hopefully if the conversation continues more research will be done and we will be able to make informed choices about the healthiest way to eat. 

  

There seems to be greater debate about the environment. I have heard arguments for and against global warming. Irrespective of the impact the human race has on the planet there does seem to be a desire to find cleaner energy, use energy that is renewable and work towards ways that reduce our impact on the planet. I am grateful that there is debate about how we can care for our planet in a better way. 

  

There seems to be more conversations about health and illness. Treatment for illness and management of health seems to include many more facets now. Medical treatment is important. Diet and exercise are important. Mental health is important. There is much discussion about mind, body and spirit. Modalities such as acupuncture, energy medicine, hypnosis, and all sorts of other forms of treatment are being used and discussed. I am grateful that there is so much choice and I hope that eventually the mind, body and spirit will all be addressed equally. 

  

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Week Fifteen Tuesday’s Grateful List 

Posted on September 29, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful that we are having conversations. 

There seems to be so much more discussion about domestic violence. I do not know what the solution to the tragic number of women who are killed by men or why there is so much domestic violence in our communities. We are however starting to talk about it and the expectation is growing  that our community wants zero tolerance to domestic violence. I am grateful we are talking about how to reduce domestic violence. 

  

There seems to be so much more discussion about equality for women. Again  I do not know which is the best way to address this issue. I want equal pay for equal work. I want women to be educated as highly as men. I want women and men to have exactly the same access to food, health care, housing, legal representation and wealth. I am grateful that we are having conversations about this and that organizations such as  Lean In and The Destroy The Joint have been set up. I am grateful that there seems to be much debate about how to improve equality for women.

   

 There seems to be much more discussion about healthy eating. People can choose to be Paleo, Sugar Free, Gluten free or just follow a well balanced diet. I do not know what is responsible for the growing obesity in our communities. I am however grateful that there are so many groups challenging the way we eat and hopefully if the conversation continues more research will be done and we will be able to make informed choices about the healthiest way to eat. 

  

There seems to be greater debate about the environment. I have heard arguments for and against global warming. Irrespective of the impact the human race has on the planet there does seem to be a desire to find cleaner energy, use energy that is renewable and work towards ways that reduce our impact on the planet. I am grateful that there is debate about how we can care for our planet in a better way. 

  

There seems to be more conversations about health and illness. Treatment for illness and management of health seems to include many more facets now. Medical treatment is important. Diet and exercise are important. Mental health is important. There is much discussion about mind, body and spirit. Modalities such as acupuncture, energy medicine, hypnosis, and all sorts of other forms of treatment are being used and discussed. I am grateful that there is so much choice and I hope that eventually the mind, body and spirit will all be addressed equally. 

  

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Week Fifteen Tuesday’s Grateful List 

Posted on September 29, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful that we are having conversations. 

There seems to be so much more discussion about domestic violence. I do not know what the solution to the tragic number of women who are killed by men or why there is so much domestic violence in our communities. We are however starting to talk about it and the expectation is growing  that our community wants zero tolerance to domestic violence. I am grateful we are talking about how to reduce domestic violence. 

  

There seems to be so much more discussion about equality for women. Again  I do not know which is the best way to address this issue. I want equal pay for equal work. I want women to be educated as highly as men. I want women and men to have exactly the same access to food, health care, housing, legal representation and wealth. I am grateful that we are having conversations about this and that organizations such as  Lean In and The Destroy The Joint have been set up. I am grateful that there seems to be much debate about how to improve equality for women.

   

 There seems to be much more discussion about healthy eating. People can choose to be Paleo, Sugar Free, Gluten free or just follow a well balanced diet. I do not know what is responsible for the growing obesity in our communities. I am however grateful that there are so many groups challenging the way we eat and hopefully if the conversation continues more research will be done and we will be able to make informed choices about the healthiest way to eat. 

  

There seems to be greater debate about the environment. I have heard arguments for and against global warming. Irrespective of the impact the human race has on the planet there does seem to be a desire to find cleaner energy, use energy that is renewable and work towards ways that reduce our impact on the planet. I am grateful that there is debate about how we can care for our planet in a better way. 

  

There seems to be more conversations about health and illness. Treatment for illness and management of health seems to include many more facets now. Medical treatment is important. Diet and exercise are important. Mental health is important. There is much discussion about mind, body and spirit. Modalities such as acupuncture, energy medicine, hypnosis, and all sorts of other forms of treatment are being used and discussed. I am grateful that there is so much choice and I hope that eventually the mind, body and spirit will all be addressed equally. 

  

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Week Fifteen Monday’s Grateful List 

Posted on September 28, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful that I walked this morning. I had a huge day Saturday and was very tired yesterday so didn’t do anything much yesterday except rest. It was hard to get up this morning and go for a walk but I did and I’m glad.

  
  
Today I am grateful for the lovely day I had on Saturday. I am grateful I was able to go down to Tyalgum with David and support him while he raced the Masters National Road Race. I am grateful that I was able to enjoy beautiful fresh scones and coffee while he was racing. I am grateful that I was then able to attend The Shelbergs to watch Riverfire with a lovely group of people. 

   
    
 Today I am grateful that I have time to heal. I know it is going to take quite a while to feel normal. I am grateful that all my family  are continuing to look after me. I had expected to be back to normal by now – I am frustrated that I am not and that I get so tired if I do too much. I am however grateful that I am not on my own and that if I do get tired I am able to rest.  

  
Today I am grateful that a pod of whales have put on a show in the ocean in front of our house this morning.

Today I am grateful for heaters. It is quite cold down at the coast and I am snuggled on the couch with the heater on. 

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Week Fourteen Friday’s Grateful List 

Posted on September 25, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful for the lovely way I was treated on my birthday. I got so many birthday wishes and I spent the day with David and my girls ( Nick was at Uni all day). And yeh for getting older! 

  
Today I am grateful that I am increasing the distance I am walking. I have managed three 5km walks in the last 6 days. 

Today I am grateful that Nicholas is managing to look after himself so well while we have been away. He has done all his own cooking, shopping and cleaning .

Today I am grateful that we have a new BBQ at the beach and David is about to cook on it. 

Today I am grateful that I am getting more movement in my wrist, arm and shoulder. 

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Week Fourteen Wednesday’s Grateful List 

Posted on September 22, 2015 by admin

Today I am grateful for all the amazing things I have done so far in my life.

I am grateful I have been married to my best friend for 22years.

    
I am grateful that I have had three beautiful children.

  
I am grateful I have completed a Bachelor of Nursing and nearly finished a Post Grad Diploma in Counselling ( I was to be finished this by Christmas – hopefully now by next Christmas). 

I am grateful I helped coordinate the Tuckshop renovation at Payne Road Tuckshop. 

  
I am grateful for all the amazing places I have travelled to – Japan, France, Italy, Spain, England, America, New Zealand, Fiji, Thailand.
I am grateful for the really crazy things I have done  – Hang gliding in  Queenstown New Zealand and getting a tattoo. 

I am grateful for the new things I have tried – surfing at Byron, snowboarding in Japan. 

I am grateful for the exercise challenges I have completed – running 10km, participating in 9 Noosa tris ( this year was to be my 10th – it will have to wait), winning a silver medal at the State Team Time trial championships in 2012 with three amazing girls, doing the Fondo the weekend of Battle on the Border last year with four amazing people,walking from Pottsville to Lennox Heads,  finishing Noosa 165km in 6hrs 20, and riding 520km in a week at Tour Down Under. 

   
   

  
I am grateful I have participated in two singing competitions and have sung at some parties. 

  
Today I am extremely grateful that I am still alive and that I will have more amazing adventures in the future. 

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