I am writing a bit of a different list today. I feel I should be back to normal by now but I am not. I still have things that are hard for me. Today I am going to write about those things but I am going to try and put a positive spin on them. Tomorrow I will get back to normal grateful blogging.
Today I have a frozen shoulder. It is very sore and it is affecting my sleep. My physio tells me it will take six to twelve months to get back to normal. It is not injured it has just got this way because I have had four months of very limited mobility in that arm. I am grateful that I have an arm to be sore and I am grateful that even though my shoulder is sore I can still hold my husband’s hand.
Today I am having much more trouble sleeping because of the discomfort in my shoulder. I am however very grateful that there is such a thing as sleeping tablets and that I am finding them so effective. I am also grateful that I have a beautiful comfortable bed to sleep in.
Today I have a sore back. It is sore on the lower right hand side. Today I am grateful that I am able to walk and that my injuries have never prevented me from walking. My sore back is like a little reminder to slow down and take things quietly.
Today I am disappointed that I am not studying at the moment and I still don’t have great concentration so I don’t think I will go back to study until midway through next year. I am so grateful though for wonderful books. I am reading so much because I have time. I forgot how much I love escaping into the magic or tragedy of a story.
Today I am sad that this accident happened to me. I am grateful however that it has slowed me down. I am grateful that I think because I am doing things more slowly I listen more carefully and see more beauty. I also work much harder at being less judgemental of people and more forgiving. I believe connection and compassion for our fellow human beings is what makes being human so amazing.
A friend sent me these thoughts last week about learning to be gentle with yourself. I think I need to recognize that I am in a different spot in my recovery than where I want to be or expected to be. I need to be gentle with myself today and I encourage you if you are reading this to do the same. Here is what my friend sent me:
Recipe for developing gentleness …….
i. Put both hands on your heart, belly or face.
ii. Breath deeply in and out three times.
ii. Speak these words to yourself, out loud or silently in a warm tone.
I’m feeling [insert feeling] right now
This is part of being human
May I be gentle and kind towards myself
May I fully accept myself as I am
Digest. Smile. Repeat.
I am working hard at living and loving with my whole heart and I encourage you to do the same. I am trying hard just to be real .