A Sprinkle of Gratitude

This post is about being uncomfortable.

I choose to have goals and I choose to do things that make me uncomfortable. I also choose to live a happy and content life.

Today I am struggling with how uncomfortable I want to be and what goals do I really want to achieve.

I think I work hard at achieving my goals. I don’t work as hard as some people but I work harder than lots. I do get to a certain level and then I decide I can’t work any harder. I have a personal trainer for weight training and I have a personal trainer for cycling. I want to get stronger, I want to get faster, I want to climb hills better, I want to do events and get a better time each time I attempt something. I also want to be a good person, a happy Mum and wife, and a person who has enough energy to keep an organized home and prepare and cook healthy meals for my family.

I expect to be uncomfortable when I train. I expect to be pushed. If I didn’t I wouldn’t pay to have trainers. I also exercise to enjoy life, to live longer and when I do group rides on my bike I want to enjoy the company of the people I ride with and I want to be safe.

When I was at school I didn’t feel confident enough to participate in much sport competitively. I did music instead. Now I am 45 I don’t care what other people think. I want to be healthy, strong, a good example to my children and I want to have fun exercising. I do have a part of me that wishes that I had been really good at sport at school and I do have a part of me that would like to be really good at sport now. It is this little part of me that drives my desire to not just exercise for the sake of exercising but exercising to be part of an event and push myself each time I enter into an event.

I want to enjoy exercise but I also want to push myself to do things that I never thought I could do. I will continue to make goals beyond what I think is possible in my head and I will do this in a way that keeps my family life balanced and my riding safe. I will choose to be trained by people that I respect and who’s lifestyle and training methods I admire. I will train with people who make me laugh and share my desire to be safe and have fun. I will exercise some days just for fun. Other days I am happy to be very uncomfortable if it means I will be fitter, faster and stronger.

I have read a lot about the rape culture that is rampant in the present generation of young people. I have read a large amount about the fact we should teach our young men that it is not appropriate to rape. I have also read a lot about the evil nature of our young men if they take advantage of young women.
I have read a lot that young women should be able to wear whatever they like and that their behavior should not be an invitation for a man to take advantage of her.

I have a 16 year old son and two daughters aged 10 and 13. This debate is one that is very important to me. I am interested in my sons rights and responsibilities, in my daughters rights and responsibilities and my rights and responsibilities as a parent.

My son has the right to enjoy himself . My son has the right to be safe. My son has a responsibility to not harm himself or others.My daughters have the same rights and responsibilities. As a parent I have the right to expect my children to act within the law and I have the responsibility to try and keep them safe.

If alcohol was not condoned by parents there would be a greater expectation by our teenagers that the law should be obeyed.If parents drove their children and picked them up from parties there would be no opportunity for children to obtain alcohol. If children go out wearing inappropriate clothes the parents should not let them out of the house. If schools had a no tolerance to children drinking there would be a much greater expectation of proper behavior. If children were in a supervised environment where sex was not permitted the likelyhood of it occurring would be much less. If the likelihood is much less the likelyhood of rape is much less.

I might sound like a wowser. I have been at a teenage party where sex happened and drinking alcohol was allowed by some parents. Most of the attendants they were not old enough to be legally drinking. Many of the girls were wearing very short skirts and very high heals. I do not have an issue with this. What I do have an issue with is when these girls sit down on the ground or fall over often their dresses expose their knickers. They seem to have no self respect. I would be very disappointed if a young man took advantage of a girl with the skirt up under their armpits but it is like being offered a chocolate with no wrapper! The temptation must be incredibly high.

I do not condone rape. I do not condone children under the legal age drinking. I do think teenagers should be able to have fun. I believe our role as parents needs to be taken seriously. I believe it is up to us to provide an environment for our teenagers where the opportunity to behave inappropriately is as unlikely as possible. I believe we should not give our teenagers alcohol. I believe if our teenagers go to parties we should drive them there and pick them up. I believe we should have a discussion with the parents holding the party about our expectations. It is up to us as parents to expect our teenagers to behave properly. If we expect them to behave properly and put boundaries around our teenagers perhaps there would be less violence, less teenage pregnancy, less teenage rape and happier adults.