How to survive when s….t happens – and it always does. 

Lower your expectations. 

Make choices based on love not fear. Make choices about what you love not on the fear you may offend someone. Life is short do what you love. 

Practice gratitude. It is useful to write this down. Even if there is only one thing you can find to be grateful about research suggests practicing gratitude can improve your happiness. 

Forgive often. And then forgive some more. People do the best they can in every situation. Sometimes you might perceive that is not good enough for you. You have no idea what is going on in their lives so forgive them for not living up to your expectations. 

The most important person in your life is you. Look after you often. Go for a massage, have your nails done, go out for a walk. 

Crap happens. Accept it, sit with it and don’t fight it. Don’t pretend it isn’t or didn’t happen and if you feel bad that someone else’s crap is worse than yours just know your crap is yours alone and it is ok to feel bad about it. 

Have goals but make sure they are realistic. One person may have a goal to become an Ironman. Your goal might need to be get up in the morning or to put one foot after another for 24 hours.

Reduce toxicity in your life. Reduce toxic social media, reduce toxic television viewing, reduce toxic relationships. This is a good mantra for life but particularly pertinent when life is not as rosie as you would like it to be. There is nothing quite like reading about and watching other people’s crap to make yourself feel even more miserable. You don’t need it so if you can get rid of it. 

Breathe deeply at least once a day. Oxygen is the essence of life. Oxygenate your cells. 

Be gentle on yourself. Some days things don’t work out. That is ok. There is always tomorrow. 

Don’t ever say ” this happened for a reason”. That is rubbish. Things don’t happen for a reason. Accidents happen. Illness happens. Death happens. These things do not happen for a reason. The best way to deal with them is to acknowledge they have happened and allow them to become part of your story. It is up to you what that looks like. 

Accept help. If people offer to make a meal or take your kids to school say “Thank you that would be lovely”. Resist the temptation to say you are managing just fine. It will make them feel good about themselves and it will make your life a little easier. 

If you can’t cope get help. There are so many people out there to help- your GP, find a good psychologist , phone a friend or phone many of the help lines that are open 24hours/day. It is perfectly ok to ask for help.

Know you will have good days and bad days. The bad days will pass. 

And lastly always believe in the possibility of things getting better. 

Please note all these things are things that have worked for me over the last twelve months when my life has not looked the way I expected it to look. If you have things that have worked for you in difficult times I would love to hear from you so I can add them to the list. 

Until next time 

All my love 

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