Week Forty Nine Tuesday’s Post…..A very ungrateful post 

Well today I got up determined to do a solid wind trainer and commit to getting back on my bike in a serious way.

I couldn’t put my bike on the dam wind trainer. I couldn’t get my Garmin to work. I couldn’t get my legs to work. My bottom hurt. I cried. 

I got off my bike. And so this morning I am going to have an ungrateful moment.  I know I have a wonderful wonderful life and I am alive and I have a wonderful family and I have amazing holidays but……

I have put on weight – lots.

My fitness is shit .

I am not back riding properly yet .

Every time I get a bit closer to getting fitter something happens – health issues or holiday plans.

We had a holiday where my husband cycled so he got fitter and I got fatter. 

I hate wind training. The reason I ride my bike is to enjoy the outdoors, see the scenery and chat. You do none of these things on a wind trainer. 

Since the accident the color the hairdresser uses on my head feels like a whole lot of little ants biting my head. I am having my hair done today and I have decided if it hurts today I will stop dying my hair for a while. I have been blonde for most of my life so this is going to be really hard…..

I am doing Pilates to get some strength in my core. It is so boring. I know it is good for me but it is so boring….

I am walking and I love the scenery but it is lonely. I walk sometimes with friends but I am trying to walk quite a few times a week and it is lonely. 

I watch my friends do amazing things and events on their bikes and I will probably never do those sort of events again and that makes me really sad. 

I watch my fellow students finish their course and I haven’t even gone back to study yet. I should have finished my Graduate Diploma in Counselling last year and that makes me sad too because I would like to be out there using the skills I have learnt so far.

I am spending quite a lot of money and time on Pilates, Physio and the chiropractor to get stronger and reduce my back pain. 

Just as an aside my freezer and dishwasher died this week. 

I want my life to go back to the way it was before my accident but I can’t turn back time. 

Ok I think I have had enough of a whinge. Tomorrow is a new day and I will be grateful tomorrow but just for today I am not. 

Until tomorrow….

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3 Responses to Week Forty Nine Tuesday’s Post…..A very ungrateful post 

  1. Remember Me says:

    You also have my permission for one day, you amazing woman, because I know it won’t become a habit.

  2. Kate says:

    Sit with it Jen, we all have days like you are having and it’s refreshing to hear someone yell it out loud. We all have things to be grateful for but just the same with all have shit stuff too. You are beautiful regardless. Be You xxx peace

    • admin says:

      Thank you Kate. Funny I put something in your letterbox today for you. Check your letterbox . I have had it for quite a while! Xxx

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